It really shows that you have never done vector. To do vector you really need a vector friendly render and what I mean by that is a more colorful render. The render that you have chosen for this really doesn't match well with the actual vectors. If you had chosen a render of a soldier or anything else that had more vibrant colors then this might have worked out for you. Also, I am not really digging the size of the tag either, looks to square for me. Everything else is really over sharpened, you really want vector work to look very smooth when trying to execute it.
Keep at it, not everyone has a good try on something new that they attempt to do, I am sure that you will get it.
TECH NIN3
